This is post 4 of 31 for the Blaugust event. To check out more Blaugust posts and sign up to participate, visit the Blaugust Nook!
On Tuesday night, it was raid night! We usually do Tuesdays as a trash farm night to help folks newly attuned get in on some gear, and try out X-89 for the first time, as we usually don't get him down. We went in and steamrolled the first two mini bosses. We were on fire! And then we wiped on a pack of corrupted Dawngrazers. It was actually kind of funny that we wiped on trash just before the last mini boss, rather than the mini bosses themselves.
We hit up Gravitron Operator, and got her after a few attempts, as we'd some new folks in the run. It was our second time getting her, and we completely forgot to get a screenshot the first time, so I made sure to take one this time!
Then we went on to X-89. We got him down after a few attempts!! It was my first X-89 kill, and the guild's second kill. I do feel really bad, though, because I had terrible bomb placement as I wasn't focused on my feet at one point, and I dropped a bomb in the middle dropping one of our healers. I feel really, really, bad about it. But she was avenged, because I got stuck in another bomb that someone dropped correctly.
I wasn't really playing to my full potential on Tuesday. Part of it was I was distracted by the cats being dicks. The other bigger part is that I was tired and stressed, and my mind just wasn't in it. Normally I can push those feelings aside and settle into raid mindset easily--and I just couldn't on Tuesday. I've sort of been in a funk since, which has made it difficult to even write this post. But I have, and it came pretty easily once I got over the malaise of writing it.
I think that's the hardest part for me as a blogger. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and I don't like taking meds because I don't like what they do to me. Most of the time, I do a pretty damn good job of staying positive, getting myself out of a funk, calming my axiety (it also helps I have a fabulous therapist who's taught me a lot of tricks to help with all of these), etc. But every so often, I get in a funk. And it's usually when life just smacks me in the face and I feel overwhelmed. And that's when I really could care less about doing anything...
I'm going to get through this challenge, though! I'm going to get 31 posts in 31 days, even if some days end up with duplicates (because I need to catch up). And I can't beat myself up for not keeping up with it, because then I won't finish. I got this, hold my beer.